I had my first test today in my WSU class...and I think I did terrible.
The worst part is: I KNOW THIS STUFF!!! If you'd sat me down with pen and paper and told me to write the history of Spain from the Neanderthals to 1492 (and the Spanish provinces and rivers), I TOTALLY COULD HAVE DONE IT! Maybe I wouldn't have every date and emperor down, but I'd do pretty darned well. However, this test was totally different. Things I thought would be on there weren't; things I didn't think would be on there were. ... Bah.
So. Flippin'. Upsetting.
I tried so hard and it feels like it was for nothing. I KNEW at the time that I was messing up, but I just kept thinking: better to have put something down and have it be wrong than leave it blank.
Who knows if Wilks will have them graded by Monday.
I guess the good news is that I have more tests yet to come to off-set this bad score...?
...
Honestly, I'm just so disappointed in myself. This whole balancing work and school thing just sucks.
I'd really like to curl up in bed and stay there for a few days.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
I think we can all see how well my hopes to post more frequently turned out. lol
Honestly, I used to NEED to blog; now, I'm finding (or rather, used to be finding...more on that in a a minute) other ways to deal with the day-to-day.
Updates:
1) The school year got off to a great start. I literally had the best first week EVER, which turned into the best THREE weeks ever. It's not perfect--because nothing is--but it's been pretty darned good. Parent/Teacher conferences are coming up, and that's always the true test, so I may be singing a different tune soon.
2) I have two Spanish 4 students (which I didn't know, until the day before they showed up, that I would have) in with my Spanish 3's. This means, much to my frustration, that rather than getting the practice they need with the native speakers, they're stuck listening to much of what they heard last year and working on individual projects and readings. Again...not happy.
3) I've decided that I don't--repeat, DON'T--like going to back to school to get my Masters. I would LOVE to be a lifelong student, simply taking classes that interest me or because I can. Getting ones Masters, however, is a completely different animal. First there was drama about whether I'd even be allowed to take Spanish Civilization and Culture again (as an 831L) since I'd taken it as an undergrad as 626. Then there was more drama about getting a Masters advisor (since Dra. Akrabova left a HUGE hole in the department). This, thank goodness, was resolved: I am now being advised by Dra. Myers (HALLELUJAH!!!). Finally, there's drama with the class itself. I realize as a Masters student I'm automatically required to do more work; I just didn't realize that it was work for the sake of work rather than learning. More hoops to jump through. ... Bah. I'm frustrated. Obviously.
4) I'm having a terribly difficult time forcing myself to grade, lesson plan and generally do my day-to-day, single-woman-earning-a-living things that used to consume my life. Some time within the past two years, I just got sick of it. I realize a typical 9-5 job not only isn't for me, but would literally drive me crazy; however, I am increasingly annoyed by all the 'extra' (work, time, money, effort, energy, ...) that goes with my job. I can only spread myself so thin. I pray for guidance and can only assume at this point that if God wants me to find a new path, He will present me with one. In the meantime, I'm treading water.
5) Due to extra stress, lack of anything resembling time and general apathy, I'm pretty much back on my old eating schedule: coffee for breakfast, diet pop for lunch and a real (read: large) dinner. NOT good. Must re-incorporate healthy eating into my life.
Ugh. So there it is. The past month or so.
Honestly, I used to NEED to blog; now, I'm finding (or rather, used to be finding...more on that in a a minute) other ways to deal with the day-to-day.
Updates:
1) The school year got off to a great start. I literally had the best first week EVER, which turned into the best THREE weeks ever. It's not perfect--because nothing is--but it's been pretty darned good. Parent/Teacher conferences are coming up, and that's always the true test, so I may be singing a different tune soon.
2) I have two Spanish 4 students (which I didn't know, until the day before they showed up, that I would have) in with my Spanish 3's. This means, much to my frustration, that rather than getting the practice they need with the native speakers, they're stuck listening to much of what they heard last year and working on individual projects and readings. Again...not happy.
3) I've decided that I don't--repeat, DON'T--like going to back to school to get my Masters. I would LOVE to be a lifelong student, simply taking classes that interest me or because I can. Getting ones Masters, however, is a completely different animal. First there was drama about whether I'd even be allowed to take Spanish Civilization and Culture again (as an 831L) since I'd taken it as an undergrad as 626. Then there was more drama about getting a Masters advisor (since Dra. Akrabova left a HUGE hole in the department). This, thank goodness, was resolved: I am now being advised by Dra. Myers (HALLELUJAH!!!). Finally, there's drama with the class itself. I realize as a Masters student I'm automatically required to do more work; I just didn't realize that it was work for the sake of work rather than learning. More hoops to jump through. ... Bah. I'm frustrated. Obviously.
4) I'm having a terribly difficult time forcing myself to grade, lesson plan and generally do my day-to-day, single-woman-earning-a-living things that used to consume my life. Some time within the past two years, I just got sick of it. I realize a typical 9-5 job not only isn't for me, but would literally drive me crazy; however, I am increasingly annoyed by all the 'extra' (work, time, money, effort, energy, ...) that goes with my job. I can only spread myself so thin. I pray for guidance and can only assume at this point that if God wants me to find a new path, He will present me with one. In the meantime, I'm treading water.
5) Due to extra stress, lack of anything resembling time and general apathy, I'm pretty much back on my old eating schedule: coffee for breakfast, diet pop for lunch and a real (read: large) dinner. NOT good. Must re-incorporate healthy eating into my life.
Ugh. So there it is. The past month or so.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Viva Mexico!!!
Al final, estoy aqui en Mexico!
More info to follow, but my hope is to post more frequently (so that I don't forget all the hilarity of my trip...trust me, it's been more laughs that tears).
The basics: 6 weeks in my sweet duena's house with two awesome roomies: Karen, a Wesley nurse and Laura, a Kapaun Spanish teacher.
Classes officially start tomorrow (8:00 to 4:30 every weekday!), and given what I've experienced thus far, I'll have LOTS to share!
Besos a todos!
More info to follow, but my hope is to post more frequently (so that I don't forget all the hilarity of my trip...trust me, it's been more laughs that tears).
The basics: 6 weeks in my sweet duena's house with two awesome roomies: Karen, a Wesley nurse and Laura, a Kapaun Spanish teacher.
Classes officially start tomorrow (8:00 to 4:30 every weekday!), and given what I've experienced thus far, I'll have LOTS to share!
Besos a todos!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Mexico (via Portland) ... HERE I COME!!!
That's right, folks. Yours truly is headed out of town as of tomorrow morning with my one of my bestest friends in tow; rather, she's towing ME since she's the whole reason I'm headed to Portland before Mexico.
Words cannot express how flippin' excited I am for this trip!!!
I'll be gone for seven weeks, six of which will be in Mexico. I'll be staying in a house with two other women, attending classes during the day at the Hotel Colonial and doing...whatever...each night!
H E A V E N !!!
I'm going to do my best to update from the road, but no guarantees. I just may be having TOO much fun for blogs! :)
Let summer officially begin!
Words cannot express how flippin' excited I am for this trip!!!
I'll be gone for seven weeks, six of which will be in Mexico. I'll be staying in a house with two other women, attending classes during the day at the Hotel Colonial and doing...whatever...each night!
H E A V E N !!!
I'm going to do my best to update from the road, but no guarantees. I just may be having TOO much fun for blogs! :)
Let summer officially begin!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Well that was a depressing bit of drivel, wasn't it?
Call it what you will: a weak moment, a cry for attention, ... whatever. It's still true--I'm in the middle of a full-on teaching-burn-out--HOWEVER, I'm taking steps to rectify the situation. Mama says don't sit back and complain...get out there and DO.
My solution?
PUEBLA!
That's right. In Feburary, I went through the process of filling out the applicaion, writing the letters, and getting the recommendations and requesting the transcripts for a WSU Scholarship to send me to Puebla, Mexico for 6 weeks. After a MONTH of waiting, I was notified just before Spring Break that I'd gotten the scholarship. It may not pay for everything, but it means that I don't have to pay for $2500 of the $4750 fees! Even better, a week later, my Dad out of the blue presented me with a check for $1000 to cover my airfare. Yeah, baby! (Yes. I admit it. I cried.)
That means for the personal lump sum of $2250, I'm getting 6 weeks with a family in Mexico (food, lodging and 24/7 convo practice!) and 8 hours of credit toward the 32 hours that I need for my Masters.
My hope (which is a little scary to have since life likes to kick me in the proverbial butt any time I set an expectation of any kind) is that being in country, surrounded by the language that I love, will re-new my passion for teaching that language.
Maybe I'm setting my goals too high. Maybe this is more than a temporary burn-out. Maybe I'm not meant to teach anymore. ... Until God decides to direct me onto a new path, all I can do is keep walking the one that I'm on.
At the very least, I'm going to get my first extended (i.e. more than a 5 days) vacation in TEN YEARS albeit a working vacation.
HALLELUJAH!
My solution?
PUEBLA!
That's right. In Feburary, I went through the process of filling out the applicaion, writing the letters, and getting the recommendations and requesting the transcripts for a WSU Scholarship to send me to Puebla, Mexico for 6 weeks. After a MONTH of waiting, I was notified just before Spring Break that I'd gotten the scholarship. It may not pay for everything, but it means that I don't have to pay for $2500 of the $4750 fees! Even better, a week later, my Dad out of the blue presented me with a check for $1000 to cover my airfare. Yeah, baby! (Yes. I admit it. I cried.)
That means for the personal lump sum of $2250, I'm getting 6 weeks with a family in Mexico (food, lodging and 24/7 convo practice!) and 8 hours of credit toward the 32 hours that I need for my Masters.
My hope (which is a little scary to have since life likes to kick me in the proverbial butt any time I set an expectation of any kind) is that being in country, surrounded by the language that I love, will re-new my passion for teaching that language.
Maybe I'm setting my goals too high. Maybe this is more than a temporary burn-out. Maybe I'm not meant to teach anymore. ... Until God decides to direct me onto a new path, all I can do is keep walking the one that I'm on.
At the very least, I'm going to get my first extended (i.e. more than a 5 days) vacation in TEN YEARS albeit a working vacation.
HALLELUJAH!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Estoy harta
I'm so tired of school in the why-the-heck-do-I-keep-doing-this-to-myself way. Honestly. I've put eight years and more money than I want to think about into this career, and now between the government, the taxpayers' and the parents' belittling, I'm starting to question why. It's just that it all seems so futile, you know? I feel like every year we're teaching students as a society to be less and less accountable and responsible, and it makes me sick to think that I could be part of this problem. When did it become a question of do I want to keep my job or do I want to do a morally sound job of teaching?
Like the title says, I'm just fed up, and right now I can completely understand why the majority of new teachers leave the profession by their third year. Truly, you have to be crazy to stay.
Just once, I'd like to feel some locus of control at my job.
Like the title says, I'm just fed up, and right now I can completely understand why the majority of new teachers leave the profession by their third year. Truly, you have to be crazy to stay.
Just once, I'd like to feel some locus of control at my job.
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